I made the rookie mistake of getting mad on stage!

I made the rookie mistake of getting mad on stage!

I did it, I admit it! I did dumb thing of getting mad at the crowd last night at Goodnights Comedy Club in Raleigh N.C.
I am no rookie, but last night I was easily sucked back into the rookie mode of getting mad and being mean to the crowd lol

I use to always put myself down in a funny light hearted way when a joke wouldn't go as planned or the crowd missed the punchline...it was and still to a degree is my defense mechanism. I would get laughs and used it as a way to get the crowd back. But I teetered the line of convincing the crowd I was not funny and the line of making them see I am good at breaking the awkwardness of a joke gone bad. I think you need to find a happy medium between those two worlds...(Breaking the awkwardness and saving a joke).
But last nights crowd was a fickle one. I know, i know you shouldn't blame the crowd!!! but anyone who has ever been on a standup stage has to admit...some nights (very rare nights) you CAN blame them, there are exceptions to that rule and I am sticking to that!!!! no matter what any other of you comics say lol

Last nights crowd picked apart the first 6 comics before me. They ranged from never been on stage to being on stage for a while but hasn't quite found their persona or act yet. The crowd was talkative and vocal about how they felt about your act. Picture the same attitude of "Showtime at The Apollo" but with rednecks! Yee haw!

I got up there and was pretty confident I was going to bring the show back and get them to laugh. The first few jokes were a good indication of my soon to be snowballing anger towards them lol I think my first few jokes are very strong and have been tested over years of doing them...but not to them! They were silent and very good at starring at me.

Them giving me the silent treatment really threw me off and the old stupid defense mechanism reunited with me and took over. I went to a dark place and started to pick out the people who I saw were the root of the talk back heckles. I am usually good at that! but last night I couldn't think of anything witty or funny to come back at them with. I would of done better if I came back with "Oh yeah? Well I am rubber and your glue!". That would of killed next to my witty remarks lol
Well I look at last nights set like this...
If you don't have a set like that every now and again, you will keep all the anger in and let it fester. I think you should do a set that you just throw away and let all your anger out on. I am talking about the type of crowd you have to fake and not let them see you realize your bombing. I know its all part of showbiz to get out there and act like everything is ok when it's going bad...or struggle to get them back. It can be good therapy! and prevent you from finding a nice tower and a bolt action rifle to take out your anger with ;)
I know there will be some of you that will throw the whole U can't blame the crowd rule and the our job is to entertain the crowd at any cost rule!
But I still think you need to get out the demons on a crowd that is not going to make or break our career!

If only Lee Harvey Oswald had an open mic near him!

Chia-Shrek in the back! and all Business in the front!

Here is an update on "Chia-Shrek"!!! ( 1/07/2009 )

I realize that I live in the South/Bible Belt, but When your chia-shrek has a mullet..."Your Chia-Shrek Might Be a Redneck!". Sorry to all my comic friends reading this for subjecting you to that last line.

I guess it's more "Party in the Back" than "Business in the Front" for this beloved 3D animation ceramic head planter.

I will Try to give daily updates on the growth/DeRednecking of Chia-Shrek. Don't be sad, but I might miss or skip a day of updates on this exciting growth process...Waaaaa!

The Return of Chia-Shrek in 2009

Here is the update on "Chia-Shrek"!!! Like a trailer park parent, I left poor little Chia-Shrek all alone during the holiday vacation. I worked at home on New Years Eve and almost entertained the idea of driving all the way to Chapel Hill from Raleigh just to save a ceramic 3d animation character head. If I did drive to the rescue of this potted X-Mas gift, I would be the guy who drove to the rescue of a ceramic 3d animation character head!
When I finally got back to work on Jan 5th 2009, I found the poor little ceramic guy in bad health. SO the following pictures are the results of 2 days worth of Intensive water care. As you can see, some of it is springing back to life...and some are not so lucky. I will keep you posted on his recovery and hopefully he will stop looking like a middle aged balding ceramic 3d animation character head.

Unfortunately, thats all the updates I have for now. You will just have to wait for more. If you need that adrenalin rush, you might have to resort to watching paint dry AGAIN till the updates.

Holiday gifts really show what they think of you

Holiday gifts really show what they think of you

These days I feel Christmas is way too commercialized and loses the true sense of the Holiday. Not that there is anything I can do to change the whole thing, but at the same time I do enjoy getting gifts. That's not to say you can't get meaning full gifts for just a small amount of money. It really depends on the thought and meaning behind the gift, not how many months it will take to pay off your credit card bill.

Like most Americans I didn't have a lot of extra cash to spend on gifts, and figured out a way to kill two birds with one gift. Being the struggling comic, I decided to give a gift at the same time as shamelessly promote myself.

Promotion materials can be very expensive but I found a great way to promote my standup for just three dollars and fifty cents. This great gift came in a 2 piece set and was a great way to spread laughs and safety all at the same time.

I realize that a night light can be considered tacky and not a good way to Feng shui, but then again neither is doing a one niter in a one horse town that would rather hear a fart noise as a punchline instead of a punch you spent your whole career trying to perfect. "GET ER DONE!

Now that I think of it, I don't think anyone would forget your name if it was on such a great example of American craftsmanship ( If you consider American craftsmanship to be made by small little Asian kids for nickels a week ).

Just when I thought I had the best tacky gift, my dad blew past me like a cute girl that memorized a knock knock joke on the road. I am the youngest of two in my family and for some reason my parents still think of me as this 12 yr old kid.

I am all for being green and being earth friendly for the environment, but it kind of defeats the purpose when it comes on the scalp of a 3D animation film star. I never thought I would say this, but... I would kill for one of those mutant sheep-like chia-pets. But being the the Holidays, I will make the best of the situation. My coworkers and you blog readers don't know it yet, but I will giving you updates of the growth process of my Chia-Shrek. I know!...I know!... it's like Christmas all over for you readers.

I am sure you will be waiting on the edge of your seats to see the updates, so I decided to tease you a bit and give you the first two days worth of progress. I think the journey will be as exciting as seeing how the local prostitute at the bus stop uses makeup to cover up her war scars of honor from the night before.

Unfortunately, thats all the updates I have for now. You will just have to wait for more. If you need that adrenalin rush, you might have to resort to watching paint dry till the updates.

Will Joke for CheeseCake

Will Joke For CheeseCake

Recently I was lucky enough to get a guest spot at a Comedy Club in Goldsboro N.C. due to the fact that I knew the headliner that night.
The club itself wasn't a true comedy club b/c it doubled as pool hall/air hockey/Ski-ball entertainment center. To best describe the stage and the seating would be to compare it to a state fair "Best Pig Blue Ribbon Contest". The stage was covered in drapes made from old red velvet bedazzled prom dresses and elegantly accompanied by a "Mr. Microphone Karaoke sound system.
The crowd was small, roughly about 20 plus people. They were local folks composed of Sanitation workers, senior citizens, and a few ladies in charge of the local Bingo game just to round it off.
To start off the wonderful show I knew I was going to have given the circumstances, I didn't hear the MC intro me and had to run on stage to dead silence. The spot lights were so bright, that it made me feel like I was being abducted by a UFO and then probed. The probing would of been a great foreshadowing of how the rest of my set would go (Not to mention much more enjoyable to boot!).
I have to be honest and say that I did get a few laughs here and there but for the most part, they were just being polite after that. There were a few things that really made me feel off my game...
#1. there was this old couple ( about 65 yrs + ) right up front. With the bright lights, all I could see was the outline of their blue/gray/white hair dues that mimicked dandelions swaying in a windy field. Needless to say they weren't "hip" to anything I was referencing and just smiling and nodding so as not to hurt my feelings.
#2. I could see the feature comic and the headliner comic just relaxing and enjoying the sight of me eating it on stage. I don't blame them for enjoying the spectacle, b/c I also can appreciate when the first comic takes a bullet for the other comics in the show.
Unfortunately, when the bullet catcher is you... you can't laugh about it till your time is done.
I was able to relax and see the other two comics pull teeth to get laughs after my set was finished. That made me feel better about my set and stopped me from giving in to the urge of running out into traffic with my eyes closed.
After the show, I went up to the front of the club to thank the management for the time on stage and to scurry past the audience members that were sticking around.
I wasn't lucky enough to sneak by them all, but I was lucky enough to get a pep talk from one guy that could of been the stunt double of Jeff Foxworthy. In a real southern voice he said to me..."Hey Buddy, You were Kind Of Funny!"..."too bad there weren't a few more people here, you probably would of gotten a few more laughs".

I know he meant well and probably did laugh at a few of my jokes, but they never realize how personal the comic takes even the smallest of criticism. I realize that comics ( me included )can be very bitter and narcissistic, but when we are sitting their dragging our tails between our legs it's hard to smile and here "helpful" little comments from someone who has never been on stage to try and make strangers laugh.
All in all, it was not the worst night I had in comedy. I did however find one silver lining in the shitstorm cloud that is standup comedy one nighters...I got a big piece of gourmet NY style cheese cake with cherries on top. I don't want to brag, but it was even individually wrapped! You would of thought I found the cure for cancer in this cheesecake, b/c the whole ride home I guarded it with my life. Putting my arm across it to secure it if I stopped a little to short at a stoplight.
I ate it over the next two days, taking a bite here and there to savor the sweetness that was my paycheck.

Test From iPod Touch???

Just downloaded an app from iTunes to edit my blog, hope this works!

Posted with LifeCast

It worked!

Not sure how I figured it out or what I need to sacrifice to the web gods... But I got this blog to show in my website. I will be shocked to see anyone reply to this or even read it on this site. With all the free blog sites like Myspace and Facebook, Nobody uses real websites anymore that have unique style and expression. I guess its the same as tattoos these days! Nobody has the ability to draw or the taste to get something unique when it comes to a tattoo. Hence why you see tons of loony toons tattoos and tribal bands. Is there a tribe uncreative frat/sorority college kids out there that I don't know about... that are using up the gene pools and the resources? I am surprised we aren't all wearing crocks or flip flops with our polo collars flipped up.

Ok, I vented and went off on a nice tangent long enough. Hope you come back to read more updates in the future. And when I say "you" I can only assume I mean my cat ( named "Kat").
She is my biggest fan! I wish I could win over my standup crowds with a bowl of water, dry food, and a rub on the belly. If only hecklers could be shot down by sraying water bottles in their faces!