Will Joke for CheeseCake

Will Joke For CheeseCake

Recently I was lucky enough to get a guest spot at a Comedy Club in Goldsboro N.C. due to the fact that I knew the headliner that night.
The club itself wasn't a true comedy club b/c it doubled as pool hall/air hockey/Ski-ball entertainment center. To best describe the stage and the seating would be to compare it to a state fair "Best Pig Blue Ribbon Contest". The stage was covered in drapes made from old red velvet bedazzled prom dresses and elegantly accompanied by a "Mr. Microphone Karaoke sound system.
The crowd was small, roughly about 20 plus people. They were local folks composed of Sanitation workers, senior citizens, and a few ladies in charge of the local Bingo game just to round it off.
To start off the wonderful show I knew I was going to have given the circumstances, I didn't hear the MC intro me and had to run on stage to dead silence. The spot lights were so bright, that it made me feel like I was being abducted by a UFO and then probed. The probing would of been a great foreshadowing of how the rest of my set would go (Not to mention much more enjoyable to boot!).
I have to be honest and say that I did get a few laughs here and there but for the most part, they were just being polite after that. There were a few things that really made me feel off my game...
#1. there was this old couple ( about 65 yrs + ) right up front. With the bright lights, all I could see was the outline of their blue/gray/white hair dues that mimicked dandelions swaying in a windy field. Needless to say they weren't "hip" to anything I was referencing and just smiling and nodding so as not to hurt my feelings.
#2. I could see the feature comic and the headliner comic just relaxing and enjoying the sight of me eating it on stage. I don't blame them for enjoying the spectacle, b/c I also can appreciate when the first comic takes a bullet for the other comics in the show.
Unfortunately, when the bullet catcher is you... you can't laugh about it till your time is done.
I was able to relax and see the other two comics pull teeth to get laughs after my set was finished. That made me feel better about my set and stopped me from giving in to the urge of running out into traffic with my eyes closed.
After the show, I went up to the front of the club to thank the management for the time on stage and to scurry past the audience members that were sticking around.
I wasn't lucky enough to sneak by them all, but I was lucky enough to get a pep talk from one guy that could of been the stunt double of Jeff Foxworthy. In a real southern voice he said to me..."Hey Buddy, You were Kind Of Funny!"..."too bad there weren't a few more people here, you probably would of gotten a few more laughs".

I know he meant well and probably did laugh at a few of my jokes, but they never realize how personal the comic takes even the smallest of criticism. I realize that comics ( me included )can be very bitter and narcissistic, but when we are sitting their dragging our tails between our legs it's hard to smile and here "helpful" little comments from someone who has never been on stage to try and make strangers laugh.
All in all, it was not the worst night I had in comedy. I did however find one silver lining in the shitstorm cloud that is standup comedy one nighters...I got a big piece of gourmet NY style cheese cake with cherries on top. I don't want to brag, but it was even individually wrapped! You would of thought I found the cure for cancer in this cheesecake, b/c the whole ride home I guarded it with my life. Putting my arm across it to secure it if I stopped a little to short at a stoplight.
I ate it over the next two days, taking a bite here and there to savor the sweetness that was my paycheck.